Arkwright’s take on the festive season.

I have received a few emails from some of the desperate followers of this blog asking if I am still alive and kicking. Well as you can see the answer is yes. I do wonder if I had been away from the email and without net access if the next thing would have been flowers at the door? They would have made a change from the cigarette ends, drink cans and Mucky D wrappers that normally blow round the cul-de-sac and which the neighbours eye and avoid hoping that by the time they return the rubbish will have blown in front of somebody else’s house.

My neighbours are thoughtful like that, they would never pick something up and in the process deprive somebody else from getting the exercise doing it. See they always think of other people!!!

Now you can’t help but notice that strange shaped envelopes in various colours have started popping through the letter box, now for my American followers perhaps I should point out that this side of the pond we have letterboxes in our front doors normally where the postman can push our letters, we don’t have tin tunnels on posts by the roadside so no trekking in all weathers for us to see what junk has come that day. Right now where was I? Oh yes these envelopes, has anybody else noticed how small they all seem to be this year?  There is a trend for small Christmas cards. Or perhaps the people sending them to the wife and I don’t think we are worth anything bigger.

Christmas cards are strange things, people send them yearly to people they don’t think about for the rest of the year, stating they hope they will have a Merry Christmas etc. when really the could not give a toss how the person will be spending Christmas, as long as it’s not with them of course. It’s a tradition I have never got my head round, I have known people over the years who have kept lists of those cards sent out and they strike off the list anybody who does not send them a card in return so they don’t send another next year.

Now it would be normal in a blog to ask how my followers will be spending the festive season, well this is not a normal blog, I know the sensible ones will be sitting with their feet up with a couple of mince pies and some booze watching the same films as last year on the TV, the unfortunate ones will be at the in-laws thanking them for the hideous gift they received, that’s been added to those they got in the previous 5+ years and will with a bit of luck never see the light of day. If your one of those who plan to give an unexpected sweater you watch you will only be invited to the recipient’s house in the summer when they wont need to parade themselves in front of you wearing it, assuming of course they could find it and it’s not bedding in the dog’s basket. The really unfortunate ones will be working! Sue my wife is working Boxing day, that day when everybody is so cheesed off with the rubbish on TV and sick to the back teeth of turkey and decide to hit the local shops. Not to buy anything of course, they sold their soul to their credit card before Christmas to buy presents that nobody wants anyway.

Now I will make a bet that at least a couple of these souls will utter to the wife that she has their sympathies having to work. Sue will choke back the immortal answer that if they weren’t out bloody window shopping and wandering round aimlessly then she would not be working and instead would be at home in the warm knocking back the second bottle of sherry and the third box of mince pies.

Some of course will be returning faulty and/or unwanted gifts, you know the kind of stuff I mean, stuff like the aftershave that smells like a dog’s rear end, that hideous present or the slippers that make a middle aged woman look like she is knocking 80 age wise. Now with the explosion of online shopping many will order online and then pick up from their local store, the fact that the store had the stuff in anyway will escape their notice, or you will wait for the box from Amazon or some online shopping channel that has convinced you to buy their latest junk that will wash the car better, hold your arse in so you don’t look as fat or push your boobs out to entice some poor sod to look at them rather than your face which still looks like the rear end of the coal man’s horse.

What they don’t realise is that by not shopping locally they are putting another nail in the coffin of the high street shop. Sue is always at pain to point out that they are quick enough to order online and avoid her shop like the plague but really keen to come into the shop when they have a problem. Shops can’t survive on returns alone, remember that when your favourite little shop closes, you know the one you raved about but never bought anything at because you could get it online.

Now I know your all dying to know what I will be doing over Christmas, will I be sitting by candlelight counting my money or will I be going round the neighbours rubbish bins looking for treasure? Well the answer is neither of those, I am not wasting money on matches to light candles, what an extravagance. No Sue and I are spending Christmas day over at mums, rather than she coming to us, so we can’t do the old joke that we are having mum at Christmas because although tougher she is cheaper than a turkey!  Sue is at work as I have said on Boxing day so I will be spending the time with mum, having a mother & son day. Now before you say that it’s a nice gesture I should point out that it does mean my heating will be off and I can save money not burning fuel!! Actually I am looking forward to it, she has more channels on the TV and a reclining chair I can have a kip in after lunch.

Business wise the company will be closed from midday on Christmas eve to 9am 2nd January 2013, the phones wont be answered and the business email won’t be checked. To be perfectly honest I just feel mentally drained and in need of a rest, and Christmas will be it.

We will open the station weather permitting on the 29th/30th December as we are running services and it will be nice to get back into the swing of things.

So if your bored then come to the station and see us on the 29th/30th and have a hot drink and say hello, but please don’t bring any mince pies or you will be going home with your eyes watering and walking funny, as bringing mince pies will guarantee that the turkey won’t be the only thing to have something shoved in it!!!!



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  1. Jodi @Heal Now and Forever

    I love this light post, it made me laugh. I agree that most presents are worthless. So pointless really all of the to do. Just commercialism at its finest. I buy into it too to keep others happy, but I keep it simple.